even though i have the support groups like weightlessdolls, i still feel so alone. nobody i know has an ed. they make not like their bodies, but they don't do anything about it like i try to.

i feel like i can never get to where i want. i see improvements, and then i fuck it up by engorging. i hate food with a fiery passion.

my current hideous stats:

Height: 5'3''
Weight: 114 lbs
Waist: 24 in
Hips: 36 in
Bust: 34 in
Thigh: 20 in

I hate my thighs. they are huge. i want to sit down in my chair, look across the room in my mirror and not grimace at the giant bulginess down there. i've been the same size since 5th grade, and you can imagine how huge i felt then. while the rest of my friends weighed in at 68 lbs, i was at a thundering 90 some pounds. when i walked through my house, i shook the tv. i wanna be so light that i dont have footprints in the sand. 

here's what i want my stats to be, at least in the immediate future:

Weight: 105 lbs.
Waist: 22 in.
Hips: 34 in.
Bust: 32 in.
Thigh: 15 in.

That can't be that hard, can it? i can't keep binging all the time like this. so, this time, i'm changing for good. i want to have posts where i'm like, yay, lost another pound! so, until then, Alexis.